Enjoy.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The recipe i was going to post didnt pan out like i had planned. So instead I'm going to show off this garlic smoked Beecher's cheese pizza I made.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Horror Movie Desserts Part 1
Halloween is fast approaching, and since I lack the ability to go to any Halloween parties this year so I have decide to celebrate my own way. Horror movie themed desserts. :) This week on the tv we have:
MY BLOODY VALENTINE! Yay! Except not in 3D because it makes my crazy shaped eye all queasy and then I get all pukey. Aaaanyways. This is the main reason I'm watching it:
♥ yum ♥
And on the menu tonight? Spicy Sour Cherry Cheesecake.
This was another one of my make-as-i-go recipes, so bear with me if it's not perfect or whatever. Fuck it, if I am not making a) a cake/cookies/bread b) a gelatin or c) a pipe bomb, guess what? Not measuring. It's as easy as that.
Also I apologize in advance for the shitty pictures, I had to use my DSi to take the pictures. Next week will be better, I promise.
Ingredients:
*1 premade grahm cracker crust (or make your own by mashing grahm crackers and mixing melted butter until it forms a mass that will stick together when pressed, but is not too wet, I just happened to have a premade one lying around.)
*1 8oz package of cream cheese
*1/2 a stick of butter
*sugar
*2 egg yolks (you can freeze the whites for later use)
*vanilla extract
*1 can red tart cherries in water
*cornstarch
*orange juice
*cinnamon
*cayenne pepper
Filling: Start by mixing the butter either with an electric mixer or your poor poor hands on medium speed. Watch and wait until the butter starts turning lighter in color, which means air is being whipped into it. Then add about half a cup of sugar, ish AND SOME SALT. DON'T FORGET SALT. Let it cream for about 3 minutes, then toss in the softened cream cheese. Let that blend for another 3 or 4 or 5 minutes until it looks really smooth. Add your egg yolks and let that blend for another few minutes. Add vanilla extract at the end and pour into your crust. Bake in a 350* oven for about 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out with a little gunk, but is firm to the touch, then stick it in the fridge to firm up.
And you get something like this:
Topping:
Using a wire strainer, separate the water from the cherries. Set the cherries aside. Pour the water into some measuring device and figure out how much you've got. Once you know, pour the liquid into a sauce pan on medium heat and let it boil. Add an equal amount of sugar to the cherry water, making a simple syrup with the water. IF YOU LIKE FUN YOU CAN ADD A BUNCH OF RED FOOD COLORING AT THIS POINT, NOT ONLY IS IT MESSY AND LOOKS LIKE BLOOD, BUT ALSO IT GIVES THE CHERRIES THAT CLASSIC BRIGHT RED LOOK. In a small bowl on the side, mix 2-3 tablespoons (depending on how much water you got from the cherries) of cornstarch with cold orange juice and mix it well, making a slurry. Pour it into the syrup to add body, stir well. After that you can add your cherries back in. You can mash them some or leave them whole, but I squished em down. Then add to your taste cinnamon, salt, and CAYENNE PEPPER. I added a crap load.
Then you get this:
Let it cool for about 5 minutes before slathering it on the top of the cheesecake and letting it all set for about 3 hours, overnight would be best.
PFFT. HAHAHAHAHA. yeah like any human could wait that long. XD An hour and a half and you should be good to go. Cheat like I did and make a nice platform of icepacks for the tin to sit on. :d
AND VOILA!
I wish I had a tiny pick axe to stick into it, but I guess this paring knife will have to do.
If you're lucky Jensen Ackles will come over to your house and eat the cheesecake with you. If you're SUPER lucky he'll feed it to you himself.
Okay, so next week, here are my movies I am trying to decide between:
Let me know which you think. Or, leave other ideas. :)
I PROMISE TO BE UPDATING MORE. PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE.
EDIT: okay, so I have been asked what the correlation was between this dessert and the movie? To be honest? I was at the part where the mine guy kills the midget and I was like, hmmm I want some damn cheesecake. SO I MADE SOME DAMN CHEESECAKE, FUCK YOU. i spiced that shit up because this mine guy will rip out your heart and cayenne will give you heart burn so it is almost the same thing. Also the bright red reminded me not only of blood but of the Valentine theme so far, the chocolate box with the human heart inside, and so on and so forth. if only i had a heart shaped crust it would have been more perfect. IMAGINE IT IS HEART SHAPED. anyways i'm gonna eat some cheesecake and watch the rest of this movie.
PS: ANYONE REMEMBER THAT SCENE IN SLEEPAWAY CAMP WHERE THE GIANT POT OF BOILING WATER FALLS ON THAT GUY AND HE IS LIKE "AAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAH" i am trying to think of a dessert relevant to that.
MY BLOODY VALENTINE! Yay! Except not in 3D because it makes my crazy shaped eye all queasy and then I get all pukey. Aaaanyways. This is the main reason I'm watching it:
And on the menu tonight? Spicy Sour Cherry Cheesecake.
This was another one of my make-as-i-go recipes, so bear with me if it's not perfect or whatever. Fuck it, if I am not making a) a cake/cookies/bread b) a gelatin or c) a pipe bomb, guess what? Not measuring. It's as easy as that.
Also I apologize in advance for the shitty pictures, I had to use my DSi to take the pictures. Next week will be better, I promise.
Ingredients:
*1 premade grahm cracker crust (or make your own by mashing grahm crackers and mixing melted butter until it forms a mass that will stick together when pressed, but is not too wet, I just happened to have a premade one lying around.)
*1 8oz package of cream cheese
*1/2 a stick of butter
*sugar
*2 egg yolks (you can freeze the whites for later use)
*vanilla extract
*1 can red tart cherries in water
*cornstarch
*orange juice
*cinnamon
*cayenne pepper
Filling: Start by mixing the butter either with an electric mixer or your poor poor hands on medium speed. Watch and wait until the butter starts turning lighter in color, which means air is being whipped into it. Then add about half a cup of sugar, ish AND SOME SALT. DON'T FORGET SALT. Let it cream for about 3 minutes, then toss in the softened cream cheese. Let that blend for another 3 or 4 or 5 minutes until it looks really smooth. Add your egg yolks and let that blend for another few minutes. Add vanilla extract at the end and pour into your crust. Bake in a 350* oven for about 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out with a little gunk, but is firm to the touch, then stick it in the fridge to firm up.
And you get something like this:
Topping:
Using a wire strainer, separate the water from the cherries. Set the cherries aside. Pour the water into some measuring device and figure out how much you've got. Once you know, pour the liquid into a sauce pan on medium heat and let it boil. Add an equal amount of sugar to the cherry water, making a simple syrup with the water. IF YOU LIKE FUN YOU CAN ADD A BUNCH OF RED FOOD COLORING AT THIS POINT, NOT ONLY IS IT MESSY AND LOOKS LIKE BLOOD, BUT ALSO IT GIVES THE CHERRIES THAT CLASSIC BRIGHT RED LOOK. In a small bowl on the side, mix 2-3 tablespoons (depending on how much water you got from the cherries) of cornstarch with cold orange juice and mix it well, making a slurry. Pour it into the syrup to add body, stir well. After that you can add your cherries back in. You can mash them some or leave them whole, but I squished em down. Then add to your taste cinnamon, salt, and CAYENNE PEPPER. I added a crap load.
Then you get this:
Let it cool for about 5 minutes before slathering it on the top of the cheesecake and letting it all set for about 3 hours, overnight would be best.
PFFT. HAHAHAHAHA. yeah like any human could wait that long. XD An hour and a half and you should be good to go. Cheat like I did and make a nice platform of icepacks for the tin to sit on. :d
AND VOILA!
If you're lucky Jensen Ackles will come over to your house and eat the cheesecake with you. If you're SUPER lucky he'll feed it to you himself.
Okay, so next week, here are my movies I am trying to decide between:
Let me know which you think. Or, leave other ideas. :)
I PROMISE TO BE UPDATING MORE. PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE.
EDIT: okay, so I have been asked what the correlation was between this dessert and the movie? To be honest? I was at the part where the mine guy kills the midget and I was like, hmmm I want some damn cheesecake. SO I MADE SOME DAMN CHEESECAKE, FUCK YOU. i spiced that shit up because this mine guy will rip out your heart and cayenne will give you heart burn so it is almost the same thing. Also the bright red reminded me not only of blood but of the Valentine theme so far, the chocolate box with the human heart inside, and so on and so forth. if only i had a heart shaped crust it would have been more perfect. IMAGINE IT IS HEART SHAPED. anyways i'm gonna eat some cheesecake and watch the rest of this movie.
PS: ANYONE REMEMBER THAT SCENE IN SLEEPAWAY CAMP WHERE THE GIANT POT OF BOILING WATER FALLS ON THAT GUY AND HE IS LIKE "AAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAH" i am trying to think of a dessert relevant to that.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Tea
Nicoletta and I were feeling rather proper the other day (especially after going to Kidd Valley and eating peanut butter milkshakes and insanely garlic fries) so we decided to make blueberry frosted pop tarts, scones, lemon curd, and clotted cream from scratch. And drink copious amounts of wine during the adventure, and then eat our good tea for breakfast. We assembled the necessary ingredients.
The recipe we had for the pop tart dough had us chill the dough for an hour, so we made it first.
Sift the flour. It's more fun if you have a metal cool sifter that you have to squeeze repeatedly, but I couldn't find mine...
Nicoletta was okay with it though.
Personally, I get excited when I get to feel anything gross in food, so I went ahead and volunteered for the creaming of the shortening and sugar.
After the creaming (I love, by the way, that so many kitchen terms sound like they're beating people up! Cream, whip, beat...you know?) I added the eggs, one at a time, scraping the bowl down after each egg.
One of the eggs looked particularly appetizing.
There was a mascot around for this time of cooking, by the way.
We scraped down the bowl for the last time.
Added the sifted flour and baking powder and salt.
Mix til it forms a dough, but don't overmix.
We put it away to chill and started on the lemon curd, which also had to cool down and thicken before eating. Not that this stopped us from licking the bowl after.
When you squeeze lemons, it's good to have a microwave to soften the lemon so it's as easy to squeeze as possible. I don't have a microwave, so Nicoletta graciously squeezed.
When you're zesting lemons, oranges, limes, chocolate, nutmeg, parmesan...anything when you're trying to turn the outside of something into tiny shreds, one thing is absolutely essential: the Microplane.
I wasn't sure about one of the lemons, so we asked our mascot what he thought.
After washing the lemons, I zested:
The juicing commenced on a free plastic juicer I received free with the Ultimate Chopper a kind old friend bought for me to indulge my As Seen On TV cravings from when I was 16 or so.
One of the weird things about me, is that I like pickled herring, which everyone in my family also likes, because it's delicious, but many people are disgusted by this. However, this is actually something you're supposed to eat. What's something you're not supposed to eat, that humans are not actually supposed to eat?
Lemons.
Nicole will actually SNACK on a whole lemon!! Yikes.
But you have to admit it's kind of cute.
But you have to admit it's kind of cute.
Anyway, the juice:
We had all the lemon parts left that Nicoletta didn't feel like eating, so Nicoletta reminded me how delicious Lemoncello was, and we sliced up those lemons and drowned them in some Stoli, setting that in the fridge for another delicious time.
Anyways. I don't have a double boiler, so we simmered some water in a sauce pan and stirred the eggs, lemon juice, and sugar for the lemon curd in a sauce pan that we just held on top of it, so it wasn't touching the water.
Whisk in the zest, and savor the amazing lemony smell.
We poured the lemon curd into a tupperware to cool, and decided to relax and have a little rest and play with a rat for a moment.
after thorough hand sanitization (although Mia Wallace the rat is quite clean!) it was back to the kitchen to make up scones.
We mixed all the dry ingredients together.
Then, the weirdest thing happened. Nicoletta told me she'd never seen fricking Pulp Fiction somehow. She was informed that it was necessary to do so. And in case you didn't know, this is my serious face.
This is not a joke.
Okay, then we mixed in the cold butter cubes with the dry ingredients, rubbing them between fingers until they were pebble-sized pieces.
Made the flour-butter mixture into a well in the bowl, poured in the cream, and started mixing them gently together by hand until we had a nice dough. It's important to not overmix scones or they'll be more like stones.
We shaped the scones:
We popped two pans of scones in the fridge: any time I've made scones, including at a fancy tea shop, they're always better if you refrigerate them overnight. Ditto clotted cream. So we whipped up the cream real quick, adding sour cream and an itz of powdered sugar, and at Nicoletta's bequest some nutmeg (thanks Microplane!) and cinnamon.
Nicoletta was all up in my face with the nutmeg.
We decided to chill everything (although we didn't quite get to the pop tarts, but we have the dough for next time) and have a little snack.
Smoked salmon = love.
Even Mia got some.
But then she started climbing her cage to look at me taking photos, so I had to stop so she would go back to her dinner.
Then we set up some delicious scoops of vanilla bean ice cream with a drizzle of blackberry balsamic vinegar, and it was delicious and strange.
The next morning, this was our breakfast spread:
It was absolutely delicious. a simple, lovely breakfast, with excitement for the next time. To another adventure!!
Recipes:
Pop Tarts:
Homemade Pop Tarts Recipe
Pop Tart:
3/4 C veg. shortening
3/4 C. sugar
3 eggs
3 3/4 C. flour
3 tblsp. baking powder
1/2 C. preserves
1 egg yolk, beaten w/2 tblsp. light cream
After making the dough, preheat the oven to 350.
Cream shortening and sugar. beat in one egg at a time. Sift together flour and baking powder, stir into shortening mix to make a soft dough. Chill for 1 hour. Turn dough onto a floured surface and roll out 12 rectangles-each 8x12". Spread about a tblsp. of preserves over 1/2 of each rectangle-staying well within the edges. Fold dough over the preserves and trim the edges or crimp to close. Place tarts on a greased cookie sheet and brush w/the egg yolk cream mix. Bake for 20 minutes.
Frosting:
1/2 C. 10x sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 tblsp. milk
Stir the vanilla and milk into powdered sugar until you have a thin frosting. Dribble onto each tart with a squeeze bottle
3/4 C veg. shortening
3/4 C. sugar
3 eggs
3 3/4 C. flour
3 tblsp. baking powder
1/2 C. preserves
1 egg yolk, beaten w/2 tblsp. light cream
After making the dough, preheat the oven to 350.
Cream shortening and sugar. beat in one egg at a time. Sift together flour and baking powder, stir into shortening mix to make a soft dough. Chill for 1 hour. Turn dough onto a floured surface and roll out 12 rectangles-each 8x12". Spread about a tblsp. of preserves over 1/2 of each rectangle-staying well within the edges. Fold dough over the preserves and trim the edges or crimp to close. Place tarts on a greased cookie sheet and brush w/the egg yolk cream mix. Bake for 20 minutes.
Frosting:
1/2 C. 10x sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 tblsp. milk
Stir the vanilla and milk into powdered sugar until you have a thin frosting. Dribble onto each tart with a squeeze bottle
or brush w/ pastry brush.
Wrap in foil, and store in fridge. These will keep a week or so in fridge, or can freeze 3-4 months.
To toast:
2 minutes if refrigerated, 4 minutes if frozen.
Wrap in foil, and store in fridge. These will keep a week or so in fridge, or can freeze 3-4 months.
To toast:
2 minutes if refrigerated, 4 minutes if frozen.
~~~
Scones:
Now, honestly, so many recipes for scones call for adding currants, raisins, what have you. Nicole and I like plain scones. So we made these, but you can easily add stuff to the batter, just keep it the same consistency. For flavor, Nicoletta and I added about 3/4 tsp vanilla extract, about 1 1/2 almond extract, and definitely some salt. Since most culinarians (including myself) tend to buy unsalted butter, it's generally a good idea to add some salt to batters that you think you'll want it in. Just to taste. This is an extremely basic scones recipe that is made for building upon and customizing to your own taste.
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup white sugar
5 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup butter
1 egg, beaten
1 cup milk or heavy cream
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Lightly grease a baking sheet.
In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Cut in butter with a pastry cutter or with forks and your own fingers. Mix the egg and milk in a small bowl, and stir into flour mixture until moistened.
Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead briefly. Roll dough out into a 1/2 inch thick round. Cut into 8 wedges, and place on the prepared baking sheet. OR shape yourself into wedges or hearts, which is more fun :)
Bake 15 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden brown.
~~~
Lemon Curd
3 eggs
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice (2-3 lemons) (do not use the bottled lemon juice!!)
1 tablespoon finely shredded lemon zest
3/4 cup granulated white sugar
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
Note: Room temperature lemons provide more juice. After squeezing, strain the juice to remove any pulp. Zest is the yellow, sweet-flavored outer rind of the lemon. A zester or fine grater can be used to remove the rind. Cold lemons are much easier to grate. Grate lemons just before using as the zest will lose moisture if it sits too long.
In a stainless steel bowl placed over a saucepan of simmering water (or in the top of a double boiler if you're lucky enough to have one!), whisk together the eggs, sugar, and lemon juice until blended. Cook, stirring constantly (to prevent it from curdling), until the mixture becomes thick (like sour cream or a hollandaise sauce) (160 degrees F or 71 degrees C). This will take approximately 10 minutes. Remove from heat and immediately pour through a fine strainer to remove any lumps. Cut the butter into small pieces and whisk into the mixture until the butter has melted. Add the lemon zest and let cool. The lemon curd will continue to thicken as it cools. Cover immediately (so a skin doesn't form) and refrigerate for up to a week.
Makes 1 1/2 cups.
Note: If you want a lighter lemon curd whip 1/2 cup of heavy whipping cream and fold into the lemon curd.
~~~
Clotted Cream
1 cup heavy cream
1/3 cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon powdered sugar
Let heavy cream sit out at room temperature for about 45 minutes. Using a whip attachment on the mixer, whip heavy cream until stiff peaks form. Hand whisk in sour cream and powdered sugar until just combined. Chill overnight.
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